of love and expectations

it's in the air everywhere. what the hell? been singing 'groovy kind of love' song over and over and over. intense. searched his name on google. searched his schools and more background on google. now what the hell is this? him playing in the football field of my mind seems tireless. the disappointment in his voice when i wanted to break up brings me some reassurance. when you think of reasons behind decisions, you'll understand. i wanted to break up last night because of intense feelings and fear of disappointment. "it wasn't intentional," he said. yes it wasn't but the fact still remains that he made a mistake of not calling me and i was disappointed. i kinda' set the standards to resolve everything. from now on, no more promises... everything should be spontaneous. i'm not waiting for his call anymore. i think things will really change as what i told him especially now that i'll be working on my dream industry. daily routines will change. i will be meeting more people. but knowing me? when i fall in love, i am loyal. capricorns are loyal anyway. i really feel triumphant that he doesn't want to give up when i was ready to. it's a long distance love affair so the only basis is the way we get in touch with one another. no expectations. when one misses another, they just go ahead and call. no more saying, "i'll call you in ten minutes.." "i'll call you when i get home." whatever whatever. just call when you want to. you don't have to promise anything. just go! anthony (a present colleague) told me, "the problem with you is that you are emotionally volatile." he forgot to mention that i take things so personally all the time. onion-skinned.