No Title

I just had a Thai massage. I chose a masseur so the pressure is harder. For 100 pesos i had slice of comfort or discomfort? Though i totally reaped the rewards minutes after. I still feel giddy after the physical pressure laid down on me. I experienced the basics. I had a taste of the village life. How i would like to venture mysticism, the quest to resolve tensions. I want to believe in something. I want to heal, I want to cure my mother of her aches and pains and all the negativity that shadows her beliefs. Maybe that's my life task because I know more than she knows. I've come to accept that she has a myopic view on things. This is how it is to love. It is painstaking. You can not just forget about it. Maybe that's one thing I share with my past lovers, it's the pain they encountered from family. I really wish them well. Now that I have time to reflect, I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart and the form of apology is in a form of letting go. I am sure there are other women without baggage. I just wish they became my friends. That's the point of having a new kind of relatioship called friends with benefits or fuck buddies. But what if the guy hits it up with you as a good pal, is really attractive and likes you too? That is a boyfriend material but you don't wanna ruin ruin anything so