now what's my problem? i've been eating takoyaki balls for lunch for 2 days in a row. last night i ate kormak chicken at an indian restaurant. frivolous. what i'm going to tell you right now is not about food. you only talk about food and all those little "nonsense" (i brand it nonsense because they are nonsense for me now) when you have bigger pesky issues about yourself. im starting to dislike my job. i earn a lot through it but this is not what can make me happy. the unhappiness that stems from this situation affects the people around me. i don't wanna talk to them. i often get pissed at my boyfriend. he's the shock absorber of all this unhappiness and low self-esteem. i just want to rest. i want to take a break but clearly, i have no money. last night, my bf and i fought and we fought so hard and very hurtful words were said. now i feel so alone. he mentioned all the help that he did (well his mom's help). i want to ask God what is keeping me and him together. we have so many differences and it's painful already. i am resenting him for not being able to fulfill my fantasies of a financially stable guy who can give me all my financial needs. i see him as a failure. GOD i need your help.