here we go again with the daydreams

before i distract myself to oblivion, let me just relay what just happened, what is happening and how do i feel. with the runny nose that i have, it's easy to be irritated by what you hear and what you see. let me shun myself out by playing music, eh i changed my mind. i heard the woman from Union Jack Tavern say, "iced tea lang yan e". saying that i will order only iced tea. i'm guilty about that fact that i'm not ordering more because i just wanna be true to myself, true to be a middle-earning proletariat. what if i only order iced tea or cappuccino? at least i'm a regular, right? damn this inequality in customer service, phils. but what do i expect. i am, in the philippines, where good artists are born because of the tragedy they have everyday. all the pretentions and the coping will really make you go bonkers and will make you come rush and write down all the rants and raves you have, making you a tragedienne. Jessica Zafra maybe one but she hides under being mad than sad. my day-to-day experiences leading me to daydream and fight for a better tomorrow (i.e. riding a jeepney from laguna to alabang, sweaty, holding the pee, carrying so many things, feeling claustrophobic) can make you mad. mad. that is the word. like you just wanna shout and say, "i hate being a commoner!" or "why can't i be rich NOW!" oh gawd! i swear my feelings are so drastic. this is because of having a runny nose. like you just wanna rummage through things. it's 7:55pm and i am again alone in the cafe. how i wish i have all the material things i need. i want a car and a comfortable house to be in. i want all those financial luxuries all to myself. all i have now are temporary luxuries and when i say temporary, just a span of a few hours. i want a studio-type apartment like what i used to have in china. it's so cool, calm, and collected. now i'm at a place like blue sky. it's called union jack tavern. i so miss my grandpa. im sure that if he's here, he would be taking me here. he would be taking care of a girl like me with a runny nose. i'm not ready for poverty, i am not. and a simple life i have. let me take a look at houses of celebrities... i cant seem to find any. maybe i dont have the 'searching patience' because of my runny nose. i am presently daydreaming of a rich and comfortable life, a place conducive for solitary ... voom! here goes carrie's apartment like some premonition of sorts. the design of the apartment is laid out as, "a person who lives with words on a daily basis" am i not a person like that that's why i can't resist spending just for internet access? it's 9:11 pm and i would be doing the same exact thing in China just in case im there. living in the surreal world. im getting the hang of it.