gratitude to money

i looked thru the glass windows from the 24th floor of this apartment and i saw a mountain full of green trees! it is such a wonderful sight, such sight that is refreshing, makes me want to just kiss my worries good bye. it helps to be easily amazed by the sights. it pays to be happy with just music and the thought that you are still alive even if yes, life is not the ideal, not how you wanted it to be. at least, i can still watch a good movie on a nice tv screen and write down my thoughts while watching 'the reader' which are:
-why do i feel the need to please people in things
-i noticed that movies that can really be touching are those about love and repressed feelings, long lost love...
-how can someone sacrifice so much for love?
-it's only when someone dies that you would think of spending time with the person
i just watched 'the reader' and looked at the shots and noticed how a simple plot and a few set of actors can make a movie touching and wonderful. it is the story. it is...
you know, i just want to forget about my life not for a minute, not for an hour, not for a day, but for the whole time i will be spending it here in china. the uncertainty, the chaos. the only fine thing i want to do here is just sit in the room, watch a movie, daydream. outside are busy streets that just shouts "cheater". everybody's so busy making money--making money that varies, it can be 10%, 100%, 50%... it can be 0% sales. damn! and i hate that feeling of worrying about money. money is something that can ruin things, ruin families, ruin. just ruin. it's money that can make a woman strip off her clothes to a stranger, can cause that unnecessary adrenaline rush when a thief snatches the bag of someone. it's money that make women marry someone they don't really feel that hazy love feeling but with someone they feel financially secure with. it's money, money that can give you power, power to make someone pretend that he or she loves you. it's money that makes us fight in companies, causes us stress and makes us want to kiss ass with the superior so we can get promoted. it's money that can make us feel insecure and undervalue ourselves. it's money -- and let's forget about money.
what for me is more important in life? it is passion, catharsis, art. the only reason why i want money to be there is because i want to have means to support the 'artistic' life. i just need certain things to survive, it's just to survive and be able to do things.
-thought: people do not waste time on you if they don't need anything from you; it maybe love, sex, reassurance, companionship, money, depending on the need of the person at that time. the most unacceptable in the society though, is needing someone for money. why? because the quality of a person's life nowadays and how he or she is accepted in the society is determined by the amount of his or her money.