loneliness

it creeps like drugs. it consumes you. it just comes and you can't be proud of it. you feel all alone in this feeling. no one to talk to about it because this is grief. this is not meant to be spread. it looks like there's nothing wrong but there's something wrong. your heart is a balloon with nothing inside but air. it leaves you empty. and every fucking day you live that emptiness. you forget about the emptiness once in a while but it's there and it will always be there. you try to cover it up with temporary things but still its going nowhere.
i called someone. my ex. things are uncertain. but at least there's someone. how could it be that a person can make you happy? if we come to think of it, people make us happy. knowing that you are important for someone makes you happy. sometimes though, we are stuck with ourselves and we can't avoid that. tonight i will give my ex a present. something symbolic like a heart made of something. wood is good because it lasts for long time. plus, it's my sun sign. end of loneliness.